Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
