so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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