The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
