I skipped work to stalk him.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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