Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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