week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
