Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
