We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
