it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize