I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
