Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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