Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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