so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
