i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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