her vagine was all disorganized.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize