By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
