She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
