brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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