Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
