that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
