No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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