I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize