Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
