Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
