If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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