I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
