the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
