HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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