my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize