He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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