My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
