Pappa wants mamma naked
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
