I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize