im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
