i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize