the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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