I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize