i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
