All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
