i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
