Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
