I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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