More tranny stories later!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
