1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
