Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
