they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
