All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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