i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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