Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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