Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
