Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize