It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
