He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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