Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think i have two assholes
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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