i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
