my phone needs a breathalizer
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Terrible idea I love it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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