Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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