Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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