they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
