you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize